How many steps does it take to open a Swiss bank account?

Seriously. How many pieces of mail, bank cards, access codes, and pin numbers can one account really need? I have learned some things during this process.

• Americans have a bad rapt when it comes to finance. Our relocation lady was convinced we would have to jump through rings of fire to open an account.
• Most ATM machines are not outdoors. You must use either your Maestro card or Access card to enter the bank -- not sure which one yet though, since we just snuck in after someone the last time.
• To do a "simple" bill pay, it requires a number of steps. The trick though was realizing the lame calculator sent to us is actually a card reader used to obtain your pin number each time you e-bank. Maybe I am slow, but this was not obvious. Good thing I didn't throw it away.